Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Let it Stew

  This is an excerpt from a blogger that refers to herself as Jamie The Very Worst Missionary. It’s part of a post aptly entitled Because the bible is kinda.. weird.”, a direct response to a tweet that I sent her asking for pointers on how to read this book. Admittedly, I followed none of her advice but it was still very kind of her to give me a frame to work with. I think this is one piece of advice that I will adhere to, though. At this point I can’t tell if this is becoming a hobby or a vice. It seems to be turning into more of an obsession and based on my experience those are never a good thing. As I enter this very strong intermission I’ve been taking the time to review past post comments, twitter debates, etc, and one seems to stand out among them. Simple and honest..

And you know what, she’s right. If God wanted me he would have said something by now. Or at least make it not-so-difficult to understand this damn book of his. It should come naturally, I shouldn't have to force it down like castor oil. Maybe it’s the type of bible I’m using. Although I can appreciate this Message version for being a little easier to absorb, it could be that a soul as polluted as mine requires a stronger, Holier bible (like one used in an exorcism). Or, perhaps some things just weren’t meant to be. A few things to think about, I guess. In verity, none of this seems very appealing. I don’t want to tell anyone that they’re stupid for believing in God. And I don’t want to tell anyone that they’re going to Hell for not believing in God, either. I just want to be me. Live my life the way I want to live it and treat people the way I want to be treated. That’s it. And I don’t see anything wrong with that. Regardless, I’d like to take a moment to give special thanks to these brave individuals. It was your insight and guidance that helped me make it this far..

  It doesn’t matter if you’re Atheist, Christian, or whatever, you have to do what makes you happy. At the end of the day that’s all that any of us wants.. to be happy.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Wanton Review: Misquoting Jesus

  After encountering a recent misquotation  I decided to bump this one to the top of the queue, and I'm glad that I did. Normally, when I pick up any material on or associated with the topic of religion I can expect a high degree ennui to inevitably be attached.  It just seems to come with the turf.  But with this one I can say that I was pleasantly surprised.  Not only was it an interesting read, but very informative as well.  I was left with a few takeaways and maybe even a new region of insight on a subject that continues to elude me.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Sign People

Seriously, where do these people come from? Is there some sort of secret Sign People society that I’m unaware of? I never really paid much attention to it before. I usually just tuned them out. But now that I’m on this subject I realize that
I see them just about everywhere I go. Especially if it is an event where people are trying to have any kind of fun. You can be certain there will be someone with a ginormous yellow and black sign to inform you that you are either going to Hell or that Jesus loves you. Well, which is it because I’m pretty sure that it can’t be both. I’m really beginning to wonder if the word “Christian” is synonymous with “buzzkill”. I’ll
Downtown L.A.
often engage them just to see what they have to say. You never know, someone might have some great wisdom to impart. But the conversation always ends  in disappointment. Everything they say is such a line.
Santa Monica
I can practically write script at this point. First, some weird quote from their mystic book that never makes any sense. Then they’ll claim to be praying for me which I assume to be some sort of Christian slang for “Enjoy your stay in Hell, Heathen!”. Where is all of the knowledge? Where are the revolutionary ideas? Is a person that decides to become a Christian doomed to follow single file down the same footsteps forever?

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Thursday, September 20, 2012

General Heathen

Beware the Hellish eyes.. woooOOOOO
  I met this guy outside one of the bowl games. Really nice fellow. He politely explained how I will be going to hell because I do not meet the requirements to go to Heaven. I’m pretty much all of the above but if I really had to choose just one I would probably have to go with General Heathen which I can only assume to mean all of the above. I dug up this scripture of his just to verify his claim..

 And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: Hebrews 9:27 (King James)

  I dunno, more “Christianeze” I guess for I’m going to Hell. So there we have it.. it’s official. Thanks, Sign Dude. You just saved me a long and boring trip through the bible. Now that I know I’m already going to Hell I don’t need this book anymore. I am not perfect nor will I make any attempt to be. I’m just trying to do the best I can with what I've got. If I happen to do a little masturbating along the way then so be it. Shit happens.

  I'm beginning to realize that if by some miracle I'm able to form some sort of connection with this book or this deity, it would not be in a way that anyone can appreciate. So, when certain “born again” Christians inform me that I am going to “roast in hell” for not falling completely in line with their beliefs. There's only one way I can really respond to that..

Thanks for the memo.. I’ll bring the barbecue sauce.

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Thursday, September 6, 2012

Letters to Jesus

Dear Jesus,
  I have been informed by many of your Christians that you frequently grant magic wishes. Well then, here is my request. There seems to be a never-ending controversy over your presence and how or if you go out of your way to micromanage human affairs. Perhaps it is less important to concern ourselves over whether or not you exist, and more important to learn how to coexist. Until we discover other planets to defile we are just going to have to learn how to share this one. Also, if you can manage to fit it into your busy schedule, I believe that I would someday like to find inner peace. Actually, let’s just try to keep it simple for now and focus on the coexist thing. Something tells me that you’re going to have your hands full with that one. I expect results, Jesus. Let's make it happen.


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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Does God Hate Gay People?

  The next addendum in the continuing effort to cross the 3 barriers in the How To Convert A Heathen  post. Part II: Segregation..